In the fall of 2013, I found myself in a tailspin. My marriage was crumbling under addiction and deceit. I was crippled by my own experiences of abandonment and neglect. I had a ten-month-old baby and a master’s degree that proved useless in the real world. Not a dollar to my name, thousands in student loan debt – and absolutely no idea who I was.
Suffocating in the prison of my pain, I knew I needed out. And one night as I drove home, my thoughts turned to the ultimate escape. It would’ve been so easy.
But, my life has never been about easy. And I knew that driving off of the road and meeting my end wouldn’t solve anything. And my daughter… my sweet daughter… I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her motherless.
That scary drive home illuminated the hard truth that I had a choice to make. I could either give up and continue to wither away – or I could take the reins of my life and head in the direction of healing and hope.
The only place I have ever felt either of these things is in the raw, wild sanctuary of Mother Nature. She has been my refuge since I was a little girl – continually beckoning me back to her strong, maternal arms.
As I began to make some incredibly tough decisions in my personal life, I found myself returning to her time and time again. Through the encouragement of others who shared their stories in nature… through cautiously venturing out on my own… each time, seeking crucial nourishment as I journeyed the hard road ahead.
Almost a decade later – here I am. I’m so much stronger than I used to be, and I have infinitely more hope. And yet, my mother in nature continues to hearken, offering up her healing salve for the scars and wounds I still carry.
My hope is that, like me, you will be encouraged to read about my clumsy adventures in nature. That they will help you to know you are not alone, and that someone else is out there struggling through it with you. That you will be inspired to get out there and forge your own healing path – whatever that looks like for you.
Thank you so much for being here with me.